Necessary Endings
Some endings don't ask permission. Here's why that might be a gift.
In life, the only thing we know with certainty is that one day we will die. Just as the best novels and films have a beginning and an end, so do we. There are two types of people in the world — those that live confidently knowing that there will be an end and those that live in the uncertainty of the end. The former is a maximalist. They think, “How can I make the most of this present moment?” The latter tends to be more anxious. They think, “What can I do in this present moment?” These are two extremes, but often we find ourselves at some point in this spectrum.
I thought I knew which type of person I was until life started presenting me with what felt like unmistakable signs. Sometimes the universe has a way of preparing us for necessary endings, even when we're not consciously ready to receive the message. For nearly two years, I’ve been noticing certain numbers recurring in my life. My eyes will always notice when its 9:11am or pm. Or I’ll see a random string of numbers but notice 911 in the middle of it. Even my favorite show for the past year has been 9-1-1. I started to wonder if there was more to this number than what meets the eye.
When I finally looked up the meaning of 911, I learned it's often interpreted as a sign that you're approaching the end of a chapter, with a new, more fulfilling path ahead. At first, I'll admit, this felt more anxiety-provoking than comforting. If chapters were ending, which ones? And was I ready?
But as I started paying attention to when these 911 sightings occurred, I noticed a pattern. They often appeared during moments when I was clinging to situations that weren't serving me—a job that felt stagnant, relationships that had run their course, or habits that were keeping me small. It was as if God was gently (and persistently) pointing out what I already knew deep down but wasn't ready to acknowledge: some things in my life had served their purpose and were ready to end.
This realization shifted my perspective entirely. Instead of seeing endings as losses to fear, I began to understand them as necessary clearings—making space for something better to emerge. The 911 pattern wasn't a warning or cause for alarm; it was an invitation to trust the process of letting go.
The truth is, some endings will not ask for our permission. Much like death, they will happen somewhat spontaneously — even when we can see them coming — and we must yield them. I guess, we don’t actually have to yield to it but if we don’t we are inviting a world of pain and resistance into our lives. Some endings, no matter how painful or unwanted, are necessary.
Some of the best things that have ever happened to me are things I didn’t want, but needed. Like when I was in my first year of university and my best friend and I had a falling out. I was so devastated because she was the only friend I felt I needed. I had imagined being at each other’s graduations. I had imagined she would be the maid of honor at my wedding and the God mother to my children. Then suddenly, we were no longer in each other’s lives and it was devastating.
The truth was, the ending of that friendship wasn’t as sudden as it initially felt. There had been months of me feeling neglected and been months of me feeling like I was fighting to hold onto what we once had. Sure enough, when I stopped fighting I had to accept things had changed and the friendship as it was did not honor me.
The gift of that loss was that it forced me to let others in—to receive the care and love that was already being offered but that I had been too focused on one friendship to notice. Today, I have so many amazing friends who I care for deeply. Even better, I've discovered that I no longer need to cling to relationships out of scarcity. I can confidently choose friendships that celebrate my authenticity and honor my boundaries, knowing that love and connection are abundant when we're open to receiving them.
Or being laid off from my job last year. The story is still being written, but in many ways that’s one of the best things to have happened to me. It created space for me to dream new dreams. It created time for me to pursue things that I never thought I would be able to do like running a half marathon, hosting events, traveling and spending more time with the people I care about. I say the story is still being written because I had initially thought that if I lost my job it would lead me to an even better and bigger job, and though that hasn’t been the case. I am learning to practice surrender. God willing, this life of mine is long. There will be seasons where I may have that better and bigger job, but for now I welcome this current season of uncovering the bridge to get there.
And I know, if you are in the thick of it it might be difficult to see the goodness amidst the pain and suffering. That is okay. Take your time. In time, you’ll be able to connect the dots backwards.
At times I can get into a funk and wonder why life keeps happening to me in ways I would have never imagined or desired. Like why me? Why me again? When my mind goes to this place, I have to hold onto my Anchor and remember that all things work together for my good.
And all things work together for your good — not in the past, not in the future, but right now. Yes, the Creator of the universe is conspiring to give you greater than you could even imagine.
So if you're standing at what feels like an ending right now, take a deep breath. Trust that this isn't happening to you—it's happening for you. God is making room for something beautiful, even if you can't see it yet. Your next chapter is already being written.
Some days I trust the process completely, and others I question whether the process should be trusted at all. I remind myself never to forget. In looking back at my life, I can see that endings are not punishment but redirections.
Trust that you are exactly where you need to be, even in the letting go.
I absolutely loved reading Can’t Get Enough by Kennedy Ryan. I shared some of my thoughts on the book on my TikTok.
I have been back in the gym, and honestly I am so thankful for a healthy body. I have been on and off my gym routine all year and I’m finally settling into a rhythm that is challenging, but feels really good. I’m really focused on building my strength back and getting into the best shape of my life by my birthday. I’m in week 2 of an 8-week program, and I don’t expect to see any physical changes just yet but I do feel much more confident.
I spent most of my weekend indoors trying to get out of a funk. Not only did I read Can’t Get Enough, but I also watched the Netflix show Four Seasons. The show is about three couples who vacation together throughout the years. It was really fascinating to see how lying and hiding was such a major part of each relationship. Lying and hiding was framed as protection or necessary to keep the peace, and something I always say to this is: Is it really peace if it requires obscurity? It was going so well, but the ending felt a bit lazy. I won’t spoil it here in case you want to watch it, but let me know what you think if you do!
A Question To Consider
What are you gaining from holding on to *insert what you are holding onto here*?
This was exactly what I needed as always! Thank you. Also I agree - Four seasons was going well till it wasn’t?? Not sure I need season 2 tbh I do love the friendship angle though - the acceptance and consistent community was lovely